last niiiight

Sometimes it's hard enough to admit when you're wrong, but it's even harder to know that you're wrong and hurting somebody you love so dearly. Starting at 11PM Saturday night until around 10PM Sunday night (last night), I was probably the worst I've ever been to you. It's a defense mechanism for me to just throw things out in the open. I didn't have anybody to spar with all weekend except for you, and I took every annoyance of my life out on you. And I know I shouldn't have, and I know how many mean things I said, and how much stuff I brought up. But fact of the matter is I think I did it subconsciously as a test to see if you thought I was worth it. How stupid is that?

But last night, when I came over to your apartment, and all you did was spread your arms for me, that made me feel so loved. And I can't tell you how awful feel again, or tell you how sorry I am for what I said and did. But treating you like I did yesterday was completely uncalled for, and just plain mean. I'm sorry and I don't know how I'll ever really make it up to you, but I hope you know that it just happens sometimes, that I never really mean what I say when I say it out of anger. Just please accept my apology, even though I know you have already. I love you more than anything or anybody that I know. And I know that you're it. I love knowing that.

So...I love you, I'm sorry for my mood swings, I hope it doesn't change things between us, and I'll see you when you get off work today. Words cannot even begin to express what I feel for you, you're all I have.